Yesterday I visited with Dr. Kozuh. I told him I was having a harder time with chemo and did not want to keep going. He said I was 80% through, only had three sessions to go, and studies show that when doctors listen to patients and hold back on treatment, outcomes are worse. So, I continue for three more sessions of pumping poison into my body.

Because Dr. Kozuh is shutting down his practice mid-December he has recommended a number of doctors for followup. I asked him, if it was him who would he go to. I could not pin him down on a single doctor. he did lean toward the ones at what I call the "Cancer Factory" (look back to the early posts if you want to know how they got that name.) I just have to pick someone and set an appointment. I can expect followup scans every six months for the next five years. Odd though that Kozuh said PET-CT scans because he said that false positives were fairly common with Hodgkin's patients after the first couple of scans.

Today I am feeling pretty good, though it is early! My biggest problem the past couple of days has been fatigue. Last night I had a bad taste in my mouth and was tired, but other than that felt well (well enough to have a small cigar and a glass of cognac.) Sharon brought home halibut from Dan McCowan's seafood shop and some beurre blanc from the Bistro. Those items with rice makes for a tasty dinner.

I suppose I am getting used to my dry, senseless hands and my tender nails. I so want them back to normal. I have adapted in many ways. I keep thinking about my mother and how she had to deal with slowly losing the use of her left arm and having to do everything with one hand and I don't feel so sorry for myself and I admire her more for what she was able to accomplish.