Two mice in one night! Our mousers were busy last night. They got one around 1:00am and the next around 6:00am. I took care of the early one, while I was in the bathroom L.C. brought the mouse in to show me. It was done by then. When I tried to take it from her she picked it up and headed to the dining room. I had to hold her to get the mouse.

Sharon took care of the 6:00am mouse. It was still going when she scooped it up in Tupperware and took it outside.

Because Sharon still has a cold we slept in separate bedrooms again. No fun! Both of us had sleep issues (other than mice.) The cats are happy because they now have their choice of occupied beds.

I went to work Friday and made it almost two hours. I felt a need to be there to check in a cigar shipment. Also, inventory is on Sunday and I wanted to get some preliminaries taken care of. I will be there on Sunday for inventory. I am so dedicated!

I am feeling pretty well today. Minimal nausea, a bit of fatigue, and tender fingernails are my major complaints. I've had much worse this round, so these symptoms are good in comparison.

The view out the back door - where I want to be - outdoors. Today is better than the past two. I am dressed and ready to go to work, though here I sit still in the house. Sharon is sick now with a cold. We slept in separate rooms last night because she does not want to share her cold with me.

Lee and Pat came over yesterday and put up some storm windows and insulated a door for us. Good peeps! Now I need to enlist him to help with getting snow tires on the Miata.

Shelby enjoying the warmth of the radiator. I wish I could have relaxed like that today - though I did nap a couple of times.

Chemo was tough today - the anti-nausea drugs today was not enough to overcome the chemicals pumped into my body. Last week was bad because I went into chemo feeling bad, and I struggled with tastes and smells during the infusion, but today was over the top. I was breathing through a tissue to try to avoid smells, but there is little to do about the tastes. I almost lost it more than once during the infusion and then a couple of times on the way home. This is a red box day.

Have I explained red box days? We keep a calender of this experience, trying to make sense of it. Days that were hard get red boxes. Thus, today is a red box day. I would rather have no cares like Shelby.

Yesterday I visited with Dr. Kozuh. I told him I was having a harder time with chemo and did not want to keep going. He said I was 80% through, only had three sessions to go, and studies show that when doctors listen to patients and hold back on treatment, outcomes are worse. So, I continue for three more sessions of pumping poison into my body.

Because Dr. Kozuh is shutting down his practice mid-December he has recommended a number of doctors for followup. I asked him, if it was him who would he go to. I could not pin him down on a single doctor. he did lean toward the ones at what I call the "Cancer Factory" (look back to the early posts if you want to know how they got that name.) I just have to pick someone and set an appointment. I can expect followup scans every six months for the next five years. Odd though that Kozuh said PET-CT scans because he said that false positives were fairly common with Hodgkin's patients after the first couple of scans.

Today I am feeling pretty good, though it is early! My biggest problem the past couple of days has been fatigue. Last night I had a bad taste in my mouth and was tired, but other than that felt well (well enough to have a small cigar and a glass of cognac.) Sharon brought home halibut from Dan McCowan's seafood shop and some beurre blanc from the Bistro. Those items with rice makes for a tasty dinner.

I suppose I am getting used to my dry, senseless hands and my tender nails. I so want them back to normal. I have adapted in many ways. I keep thinking about my mother and how she had to deal with slowly losing the use of her left arm and having to do everything with one hand and I don't feel so sorry for myself and I admire her more for what she was able to accomplish.

An Arboretum picture for today. Our dry October has really hurt the fall colors. Many of the oak trees are simply drying out and dropping leaves - brown and dry. The maples are showing reds and yellows but not the oaks.

New chemo side effects - dizziness and vision issues. The dizziness and perhaps the vision both are related to the neuropathy. Damage to nerve cells has extended to my optic nerve and my inner ear. I'll talk to Dr. Kozuh about this on Wednesday.

Chemo this week was the pits. I didn't feel good going in, I felt worse going out. Wednesday was a red box day all the way around. Nausea was an issue all day and I was only comfortable when I was asleep.

Thursday morning's high point was constipation. Arghhhhh! I did go to work from noon until after 4, I don't know how I did it. Sheer determination I suppose. Sharon had a worse day than I did. She is so frustrated by this process she does not know what to do. Lee and Peg dropped by to pick Sharon up for a trip to an assisted living facility with the the dogs. Sharon had a good time with them - I think she needed out! I do too, but it takes a lot out of me.

Friday - the neuropathy in my hands is even worse than before. How can I have less feeling in my fingers and palms? How long will it take for my hands to recover? How long will it take all of me to recover? This just keeps getting harder and harder. This is another red box day between the nausea and the problems at the other end. Top and bottom!

Fall has arrived in our neighborhood - though you can't tell it from the temperatures. We have been over 80 degrees the past three days. Sharon and I took a swing through the Arboretum late this afternoon and I got this shot.

Yesterday was a good day except that I ended up with nausea at the end of the day. I think it is pre-chemo jitters. I had some of the same earlier today but it seems to have gone away - it was worse while I was in the humidor at work (I only did a little over two hours there today.)

I went to the Urgent Care center today for my pre-chemo blood test and one of the ladies wanted to see my head. It is much improved hard to believe that a week ago today I had the stitched taken out. My black eye is gone, the scabs are gone, and it does not look like I will have too much scaring.

Sharon is making Pommes de Terre Mont d'Or to go along with leftover tenderloin from yesterday. This should be a feast!

Only four more chemo sessions. I dread each one but it is such a relief to know there are only four more.

Neuropathy. Neuropathy is spreading. Neuropathy sucks. Neuropathy is annoying. Neuropathy makes it hard to pick up things. I hate neuropathy! Neuropathy is getting worse in my hands, is now noticeable in my feet - not just my toes but the soles of my feet. It affects my tongue which  makes enjoying food more and more difficult. Add the nail pain to the neuropathy in my hands and it is difficult to pick things up, manipulate things, button buttons, open jars, put in contacts.

I took the last scraggly hairs off of my upper lip this morning, No more mustache.

Kathy is visiting this weekend, yeah! Last night Sharon and I went out to dinner with Lee and Peg. Sharon was afraid I was too tired to go, but I made it through the evening and had a good time. I did crash when we got home though and slept very well last night.

Kathy and I did a drive through the Arboretum late this afternoon. Fall is here, leaves are falling, colors are glowing. We are a week or so away from beautiful colors in the oaks, but the maples are showing lots of yellow.

Leftover "Sauteed Goodness" is even better than fresh made! Wow, those were good leftovers. Over dinner tonight Sharon and talked about the end of chemo in 48 days and the healing that will happen after the last session. We will both be happy to be living our lives as normal and not in two week cycles. Though it will take months to overcome the effects of the chemo - growing hair, growing fingernails, getting taste buds back, regaining feeling in my hands and feet - it will be unimpeded by new doses of poisons. We will reconnect with each other without the burden of chemo and cancer. Perhaps we can go back to Paris and do another self-portrait as we did in this one on our first trip there. November '05 we think. Perhaps next spring.

Good news today. Dr. Kozuh says the cancer is gone, at least according to the PET-CT scans. They are clear. Sharon and I are having some very tasty Jean Milan Champagne to celebrate.

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Lazy cats make good photo subjects. L.C. is content to let me pester her for a while as long as I eventually go away and she can get on with sleeping. Her latest favorite spot is on the back of the sofa in the living room. Often we can find Shelby on the cushion on the other side of the sofa.

Last night's "Sauteed Goodness" from Sharon was delicious. I ate more than I have since chemo last Wednesday. And tonight she cooked halibut and rice both covered with beurre blanc sauce. Chef Michel at Bistro Monet gets credit for the beurre blanc. Sharon also made a nice coleslaw that was a great accompaniment to the dinner.

We watched Glee while eating. What a show tonight! It started out with Finn making a grilled cheese sandwich that he saved and worshiped as "grilled cheesus" because there was an image that he thought was Jesus on the sandwich. Do you watch Glee? You should because it is a complete hoot.

I felt pretty good today and ended up working almost a full day. No diziness in the humidor at work and only a little nausea late in the day. I was totally wiped when I got home though.

Tomorrow I see Dr. Kozuh and get the results of the PET-CT scan.

 

Monday and the stitches are out. The doctor said my forehead is healing nicely and I could resume "normal activities." I asked if I could wash my hair and they were amused. I told them it would be a few months before I had hair to wash.

The past few days have not been the best - mostly suffering from nausea. Yesterday I was stubborn and refused to take any anti-nausea medication and I paid the price. Today I woke with nausea again, I tried to control it but gave in sometime after 9:00am and took a Compazine. I went to work after my stitch removal and made it two hours, I had issues with dizziness every time I went into the humidor and nausea. I am ready for the remainder of the week to go well. No more falls, no more nausea, no more dizziness!

This evening Sharon is fixing a dish she has dubbed "Sauteed Goodness." She has mushrooms (crimini, shitake, and button), fennel, leeks, cream, chicken, pasta out on the counter. I am sure they will all come together into goodness. I opened a bottle of Cameron Hughs Pinot Noir and we are munching on Epoisses and crackers. Not bad for someone going through chemo. I just wish I could taste more. I can smell the pinot, I can smell the Epoisses, but I miss the taste. It is this damn glove over the end of my tongue.

Yesterday Sharon made rustic potato bread. it was very good - beautiful and tasty - and we will have some more tonight. We shared loaves with Linda, the Metcalfs, and Lee and Peg. Sharon is very popular in the neighborhood.

The day the faucet branded Colby.

Yep, Wednesday was one for the books. I went to chemo and all went well - in fact better than normal because Nurse Jean was able to get a blood draw right away. It still took three hours to get through from beginning to end and I still had a bad taste in my mouth and I was a bit nauseous at the end, but there ore only four more of these to go!

After chemo I came home piddled around the house, Sharon made a really tasty grilled cheese with a tomato soup side and then i had a nap. After 3:00 I took my afternoon pills which included an Atavan. And around 4:30 I went outside to water some plants, add water to the pond, feed the fish and generally feel somewhat useful. In the course of watering, I squatted down to plug in the pond pump and promptly lost my balance and fell on my butt. Because I was holding the water hose at the time I managed to get nice and wet. But, I picked myself up and continued watering potted plants in the back. When I was done I headed to the faucet to turn off the water. Somehow as I was reaching for the faucet I lost my balance and fell forward, planting my forehead right against the faucet. Ow! My head made quite the thunk when I hit, and I knew immediately that all was not well. Sharon was outside right away saw that all was not right and went in for a wet towel, car keys, and wallet. She took me to the Central Du Page Urgent Care Center where they cleaned me up and checked me out. Two internal stitches, twelve external stitches, and a few steri-strips later I was patched up. Before the doctor started stitching, Sharon took a photo with her phone and I am indeed branded with the image of the faucet. Note in the above photo that part is missing, my head broke that off.

More chemo news. I did not think that my fingernail soreness could get worse, but it seems that it is a bit worse every day. It is now painful to touch most anything with my nails. I've got to cut them shorter because even typing is now painful.

Dr. Kozuh left a message saying that the PET-CT scan is tremendously better and he will go over it with me when I see him next week. Tremendously better does not say what I wanted to hear - that all signs of the cancer are gone.